So you want to Get Married? (Marriage Committee: What is that?!)

Ok, so I met this guy. He is really good looking. Oh God help me he is FYNE. He is Born Again, like he is a genuine Born Again Christian, so you know how I love men of GOD…they are the Leaders of our future home. Ok so he has his bills together, he is educated and so smart! Girl he has everything on my LIST. He loves to work out, eat nice food, pray, plus he is a member of my church! And bonus the conversations are so good! God have mercy, I feel something, I need to start praying, help me pray sis.

PAUSE

This is a typical conversation of many of us Christian Girls when we first meet a guy and some of us even say OH, “I def saw the will of God”, “he is my Husband”, I mean ok you may have seen the will of God but then you question if he really is the will because based on your feelings ALONE he qualifies.

GIRL SLOW DOWN, SLOW YOUR ROLL. Let’s talk a bit:

I totally understand, this has happened to me. Maybe it’s even happening to me now lol. Difference is though, I am laying my feelings totally at the feet of Jesus, are you?

Sis, I understand marriage is a big desire of yours, even though you are pursing the things of Christ wholeheartedly like (Matthew 6:33), you still need to pray for God to protect your husband till he finds you. Although you may desire marriage, sis, it’s not to be taken lightly by ANY-MEANS. It’s not to be labelled and thrown on any guy that may meet all your checks and check nots. It’s not a thing to enter if you haven’t gotten certain things done and completed.

So you want to be married? Let me share with you some biblical principles on what you need to do before you should think about marriage and even entertain a guy as more than a church friend or brother in Christ. Because if you and this “church brother in Christ” are really enjoying talking and looking at each other, if he says God saw the will of God in marrying are you ready to drop your entire SINGLE life to marry him, submit to him and really die of your fleshly, wants and needs daily?!

1. You MUST be a Born Again Christian:

Galatians 2:20

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Once you become a born again Christian you allow God to be your everything. He starts plucking and weeding out the bad in your life and replacing it with the Good. He starts to show you the truths about submission, you’ll need to submit to your husband, as you submit to God’s will and commandments. There are things God may show you that your husband may not show you when you get into an argument in courtship and marriage. You must be really in tune with your spirit. A couple that stays together PRAYS together. Prayer only can be done effectively when you have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

2. You must be able to hear God’s voice:

John 5:30

I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

Now we are living for Jesus, our old life is done away with and now we are new creatures. We must now understand, nothing including mere friendship, courting and marriage must not be done without God’s consent. You have to be able to clearly hear from God. I am not saying look for a thunderstorm, a burning bush, or something real DRAMATIC to know it’s God. God simply works in subtle ways. Not having peace when God is the King of Peace is a sign something is not right and needs to be looked into. Whatever God has used in your life to show you something, God can and will use that. Just remember though, God asks you to listen and obey Him in the little things before He will trust you with bigger things.

3. GET your education and purpose as a SINGLE person right:

Proverbs 31: 13

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Proverbs 31:24

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Listen this was me; I knew I wanted to finish college before marrying. But I am thinking ok I can meet my husband now in college and then by the time I finish college, we’ll have courted gotten to know each other and marry. THIS IS not entirely wrong but ladies you need to understand God does not encourage a long courtship period, examples of people dating for 5, 6 years before marrying may be done because of unforeseen circumstances. Courtship, getting to know each other is done with the intention of marrying soon because you are working towards it. Sexual temptation will come and it’s REAL. Look at the world now, so many people lose their virginity before High School! So in saying that to not be a deficit but an asset to your marriage you must endeavor to finish part of education before entertaining a guy. You must understand what God has called you to do in your single life besides pursuing motherhood and tending a lovely home when married. FORGET that marriage where one spouse dropped his schooling because God called him to preach. Forget that example of that wife that dropped out of college and now is blessed to be a stay at home wife. Those people had their own calling on their lives. You are different. Understand God wants the best for you, to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman who uses her hands to work and make wealth, you do just that and finish your education. If you are nowhere near complete with school, sis, your boy of interest and person you must contact should be JESUS CHRIST ONLY.

I got married before completing my last semester of my Bachelors degree . If God has also told you, you don’t need a degree then no problem, this point does not apply to you.

Those are the three critical things you really need to ask yourself sis. Have you done all 3? If so, do you feel ready for God to bring your husband to you? If so, you may then meet someone whom God ministers to you and matches God’s will for you, then God knew the time is perfect. Go ahead and start courtship to lead into marriage; then start to share you heart and intimate moments with him. Start to pray, do bible study, and talk about the future together. I want to share with you this really awesome process my Church uses to help guide you once you may have found the will of God in terms of marriage for you. It’s called the Marriage Committee.

So basically you don’t come to the marriage committee when this person has proposed to you, you already skipped the intent of this committee. This committee helps you, by praying with you about the will of God, God has revealed to you in your private prayer. Once you hear God minister to you about a person, feelings spiritually, and not only physically have been birthed, you approach the marriage committee at my church and they start to pray with you! They intercede to God on your behalf because, listen SIS marriage is FOR LIFE, so prayers from righteous people are important! Once the marriage committee has also confirmed with you he is the one, they let the pastor know and he also prays alongside you two. The committee discourages brother and sister relations before the marriage committee process is over. Listen at this point sis, if that man is for you, what God has for you will be for you, so don’t fear if the committee or Pastor say no. After all these confirmations they approach the guy and let him know the will of God for him concerning you, and then he also prays about it. I have heard many stories in which the Guy also heard Gods will for you sis. So truly when you do things GOD’s way, God will truly bless you!

Sister rest in Jesus. Cherish your single years. Have your butterflies and heart flutters come from Jesus. Your husband in Christ will find you without all the temporary theatrics the world uses.